Dear Khala Jan,
Dear Khala Jaan,
My fiancé and I just got engaged last month. He's a great guy; funny, honest and career- oriented. My parents introduced us but I really did fall for him. My thoughts consist only of him and his smile and our future, together. I could not ask for anything more. We love the same movies, music and he knows just what to say and just the right times. We go out for dinner almost every week. He's a real gentlemen, tells me I look beautiful, holds the door, etc. He has the most adorable sparkle in his eye. However, later when the waitress comes, he has that same sparkle in his eye, as well a flirtatious smirk matched by flirty remarks. He flirts with other girls too. When they leave, he acts like nothing happened and is back to normal. I don't know if this is just his personality or if I'm being too paranoid. I don't want to seem to overbearing, we just got engaged. But it does pester me and I don't know if I should say anything to him. I do not know if I can be in a relationship in which I am not the apple of his eye. What do you think Khala Jaan?
-Jamila, CA
Dear Jamila Jaan,
Congratulations on your engagement. You have now stepped into one of the most beautiful chapters in your life. Along with this beauty, comes new confusions and frustrations. Nevertheless, these merely bloom the relationship and bring you two closer. This newfound infatuation, which will develop into love brings emotions you may have never felt before; jealousy, reliance, and overbearance. Since your parents introduced you two, you have yet to really get to know one another. It is great that you two go out to dinner often so you get to know more about each other. From what you are telling me, it seems he adores you. But, it is a must that you tell him how you feel when he is flirtatious with other women. If you keep things in your chest right at the inception, you are destined for a downfall. You can learn a lot from his response as well. To him, he may not even noticed when he was doing it, and he may just see it as being friendly. You cannot truly get angry at him unless you have brought it up to his attention, that you do not appreciate his behavior. Once you have brought it to his attention, if and then he continues, you can then question the relationship.
Remember my dear, the key to any relationship is communication,
trust and honesty. Without these three things the relationship is bound for a downfall..
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